if i had a time machine at my disposal, there is a lengthy laundry list of things i would do. befriending/saving anne frank, visiting the library of alexandria before that asshole burned it down, somehow joining fleetwood mac, kicking it with the aztecs, seducing abe lincoln, cat-sitting for the beales, running interference between selena and yolanda, and of course being one of the young boys in fiona’s “paper bag” music video. always that.